Bored
by Djap
Summary: BETAD Arthur x Eames, Eames is bored and decides to hit on Arthur


**BORED**

**AN INCEPTION FANFICTION**

**PAIRING**: Arthur x Eames

**AUTHOR**: Djap

**RATING**: R

**LANGUAGE**: English

**DISCLAIMER**: I don't own the boys and I won't make any money with them. Pity.

**GENRE**: Humor, Romance, First Time

**BETA: **Neenabluegirl – thank you for your great work with me

**/**

**Bored**

**a Djap story**

**/**

"Darling?"

"…"

"_Darling?_"

"…"

"Arthur?"

"What _is _it? Some of us are trying to work here, Eames!"

"I'm bored."

"So?"

"Do something about it."

"Why me?"

"Because you're gay."

"WHAT? What the hell makes you say something like that?"

"Just stating the truth."

"I'm not even talking to you. This is ridiculous!"

"You're just in denial!"

"Now, you've lost it. I knew it was a bad idea when Cobb wanted you in on the team."

"Oh come on, don't be this way."

"You started it."

"I didn't."

"You _did_."

"See, you're totally gay."

"_Not _talking to you. Ever _again_."

"You just did."

"…"

"Come on, stop pouting."

"…"

"I'm still bored."

"…"

"Do something about it."

"…"

"Okay, if you want to be this way…"

"WHAT THE HELL? Stop touching me!"

"Hey, stop. No need to kick me, darling."

"Then keep your filthy hands to yourself."

"Alright, fine. I thought you might react this way…"

"So what in the nine hells made you pinch my ass?"

"Boredom?"

"You can't use this as excuse for everything, Eames."

"Of course I can. I just did."

"Grow up!"

"Don't want to."

"Go bother someone else, then."

"But you're the most fun."

"You're being ridiculous again."

"You're the easiest to annoy."

"So _that's _why you always try to pick a fight with me?"

"See, now we're getting somewhere. Yes, exactly. That's the reason. And because you're damn sexy when annoyed."

"I'm what?"

"No need to look so scandalized, darling."

"You're trying to make fun of me."

"I make never fun in regards to the matters of heart. At least not when they concern you."

" Ha ha. Funny. Not."

"Really, I'm serious. You're drop dead sexy when properly annoyed. Your face heats all up, your breathing comes in huffs, your eyes start to glitter, really gorgeous all in all."

"…"

"What? Was it something I said?"

"You're really serious, aren't you?"

"Of course."

"And you think I'm the one who's gay?"

"Yes."

"And you are?"

"Silly question: open to love of course."

"Did you hurt your head or something? Do you need medical help? Shall I call for a doctor?"

"I'm fine. It's not my fault that you restrict your sex-life to one gender – and obviously the wrong one too."

"I'm _not _gay, Eames."

"You _so _are."

"I'll really regret this question later, but what makes you think so?"

"Your cute little house-wife-attitude."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You doing the laundry for the team, the cooking, driving anyone around who needs a lift, getting in mother-hen-mode whenever someone is hurt… you'd be the perfect wife."

"_Eames_."

"Hey, stop with the growling. It's not my fault that you act this way."

"I don't act like a housewife."

"Right, not yet. But you would be if you were with the right person who makes you happy."

"Let me guess: you are the right person for the job?"

"Exactly… Hey, wait. Who are you calling?"

"Cobb. Someone must have brainwashed you or something."

"I told you, I'm perfectly fine. And serious"

"You're a con-man and our forger, for god's sake. You can't be serious."

"I was just getting tired of this game between us."

"Which game?"

"All this sexual tension between us. You could cut through it with a knife sometimes. Ask the others."

"Let me set this straight: there is _no _sexual tension between us."

"There sure is. Me always trying to flirt with you; you always ignoring that and pseudo-flirting with women. It's obvious to everyone and you really don't need to pretend anymore."

"I'm not pretending."

"Fine, so tell me when was the last time you got laid by any of the ladies you flirted with?"

"That's none of your business."

"No, but this would be the best time to brag about it to save your heterosexual dignity."

"Well there was…"

"And remember, _I'm _the forger around here. Don't think I won't know when you lie."

"…"

"See?"

"Just because I don't bed every girl I come across doesn't mean I'm gay."

"Well, that's right."

"So what does it prove then?"

"It proves that you have set your eyes on somebody else."

"And you believe that somebody is you."

"Yes, I do. You're _so _into me."

"I'm _not_. I'd rather drop dead than have sex with you."

"Aw, no need to be shy."

"_Eames!_"

"Look, this isn't just sex I'm talking about. I want to do the whole thing."

"The whole thing? As in 'anal intercourse'?"

"Bugger. Warn a guy before you intend to say something like that. You sure have a dirty mind, darling."

"I must have developed it from dealing with you."

"Actually what I meant earlier was a 'relationship'. I'd really like to do that with you. But your option also sounded very promising."

"You've gone insane, haven't you?"

"No just tired of the game. I told you."

"And bored."

"Yes, that's right. And bored. And you work way too much and need to relax a little. Let me help you with that."

"I don't think you could ever pursue an actual relationship. What about all the ladies that will undoubtedly spike your interest?"

"I can't promise you anything. But I'd like to try being monogamous for you. If you get annoyed often enough and look like this, I don't think that will become a problem…"

"Did I just hear the word 'monogamous' come out of your mouth?"

"Look, we both know that neither of us is stupid, so don't act as if I am."

"No, you're not stupid. But you're a conman and know how to charm your way into people's pants."

"So, that's a final 'no' then?"

"No, actually it's a 'yes'."

"Really?"

"No need to look so surprised, Eames. I'd be stupid not to take my chance in bedding you."

"Does that mean you find me sexy?"

"I can't deny that your appearance holds some interest for me."

"So you believe me?"

"Not the relationship part of course, but definitely the sex part."

"But… what makes you so sure? I could be lying. This could be a trap and as soon as you decide to try it out with me someone will take a picture of you, while…"

"I don't think so. You'd need to explain your own position too, so you really couldn't use it as blackmail material. But if we get it on and you try to weasel your way out, I'll know for sure that you've been lying."

"Wouldn't it still prove that I was right and you are gay?"

"No, it would only prove that I could stand it longer than you, so I'm the better conman of us both."

"Is that… a challenge?"

"If that's what you want to call it."

"What are we waiting for, then? Let's find us a secluded place, darling…"

"After you, Mr. Eames."

…

**Endless End**

**Finished 21****st****September 2010**


End file.
